| “You should be so ashamed of yourself.” This was the lie I had carried for most of my life. When someone we love and trust says something that really causes a stirring in our heart, The sting tends to stay.It likes to show up ~unwanted for every decision that didn’t turn out the way we wanted to~for every human mistake we made~when we do something that hurts someone else unintentionally. All it is is a subconscious defense mechanism trying to project an image that IS NOT the real you.Allowing it to hang around will inevitably become part of your identity.If my brain keeps going back to it, well then I must be someone who should feel ashamed. (Oh our tricky little brains.) What is the lie that your brain keeps telling about you? Are you ready to stop believing it? Here are the 3 simple steps I teach my clients: 1. Notice: When does the lie come up for you? Is there a specific behavior you are doing when you notice it show up? For me, it was always when I over drank. 2. Rationalize: Where did this lie even come from? Knowing where it came from will help you to normalize it. It may look like, “Of course that lie would pop up, I’ve been allowing it for more than 40 years now.” 3. Neutralize: Curiosity and Questioning. “Should I really be ashamed? Is this even true? Do I want to feel ashamed?”When that lie pops up and you have these mastered, you get to decide what is true, and what do you want to believe instead. I have a ton more of these life changing hacks inside my coaching tool belt. This is the type of work I do with my clients. If you are believing lies about yourself, I know the connections in your relationships are struggling too. Want to know how coaching can work in your life? |
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